Financial Struggles -College Edition

Growing up, my household faced a lot of financial struggles, and that has definitely affected me in many ways—both good and bad. I'll save more details for another day, but suffice it to say that my childhood had a significant impact on my adult life. It's interesting because Nikki, my business partner, mentioned the other day while preparing for this video that she doesn't feel her childhood affected her in the same way.

After childhood, I moved six hours away to a random location in Southwestern Pennsylvania (by the way, I'm from Delaware). I received ACG & Pell Grants (for undergraduate students who demonstrate “exceptional financial need”) , and an athletic scholarship, but I still have an enormous amount of student loan debt. It's fine, I'm working on it. (A Ph.D costs a lot of money, especially when you don’t have any).

A picture of said jacket & my FFEL

While at school, I had a meal plan and the essentials. In fact, I still have the winter coat my mom bought me in 2008 because it was expensive, and she told me it needed to last all four years. My grandparents, Mema & Poppy, made me a deal that as long as I got good grades ("A"s & "B"s), they would send me a $100 check every month. I got a "C" on a test once, but they appreciated my honesty. However, I quickly started doing poorly in school, and I think December was the last check I got from them, haha. I was very busy with the soccer team, and it was nice being around such a financially diverse group; as the majority of my close friends seemed to come from well-to-do families. In hindsight, they were probably just good with their money and deserved the great things they had earned.

A few months ago, Nikki found my old laptop and said, "OMG, this is so heavy and huge and old. Was this your middle school laptop?" It was, in fact, the one my mom bought for my freshman year of college. Despite everything, I truly had everything I needed to succeed—except the desire to do well.

I signed up for a credit card through Discover after being denied many times by other banks so I could buy Christmas presents in 2009. I had a job, of course, but I lived off campus by then and ate a lot of Subway. That was my motivating factor for getting a job there! In total, I worked at 4 subways in two different states but that’s a story for a different day. My first ever credit limit was $450, and you would have thought I won the lottery. I did what any reasonable 19-year-old would do and spent it pretty quickly—mostly on food. Honestly, to this day, the only things that get me are food and cute children's clothes. I paid the minimum balance, usually late, and as soon as it posted, I'd buy stuff from the dollar store. I really didn't spend much money on alcohol, never did drugs, and I stole all of my girlfriend-at-the-time's clothes.

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One time, I had absolutely no money. I managed to roll $10 of dimes for gas. When the cashier poured it into the till, one of the dimes was lodged crooked, and I probably shorted them money. I told the cashier, and they said it was more trouble than it was worth to count everything, so it would be fine. I still feel bad and embarrassed that it had come to that. I was never really a "let me get you on Friday" person, but I had a hard time saying no to friends who wanted to go out and do things—usually on their parents' credit card. Instead I simply spent everything I had or would go just to get a soda.

A picture of “funny looking lettuce.” If it wasn’t iceberg, I wasn’t eating it.

OH! I just remembered another story—the first time I had ever eaten "funny lookin' lettuce," otherwise known as Spring Mix. I was in downtown Pittsburgh visiting a friend from Delaware who attended Carnegie Mellon University. Everyone decided to go out to dinner even though we originally agreed to cook at her place. I'll never forget the shame and disappointment I felt looking at the menu and realizing the only thing I could afford was a side salad. The number of times in my life where I said, "Oh, I'm just not that hungry." It was $9.75, and I had $11, but PA has tax (Delaware does not), and I had nothing for a tip. Sorry, waiter, if you're reading this....

After graduation, I moved home for a few months before taking a job in Pittsburgh. It had nothing to do with my degree, but I wanted something stable that would pay me enough to live. Also, there was a girl. I made $10/hour, which might as well have been $100. I was actively looking for apartments and couch surfing for five or six weeks. Then, I ended up sleeping on Nikki's couch. And thank God I did.

Remember, if this resonates with you, that makes sense because most people in the USA are struggling to pay bills let alone an emergency fund. Give yourself grace. This is the way. And yes, that is a Mandalorian reference - don’t tell Nikki.

Thank you for being here.
Thank you for being you.
Thank you,
                        Kayla